And I'm the crazy one?!?!

LORD, how are they increased that trouble me! many are they that rise up against me. Psalms 3:1

I know it is to be expected. I realize that the Bible warns us about it. People will hate us for His name's sake. The choices we make will often convict others about their own lives without us ever saying a word. They immediately get defensive and go on the attack when all we were doing was raising our children the way God has led us to raise them. It happens almost immediately when you start making changes in your life to honor the Lord. It is sanctification- setting us apart from the world and unto God. It is the growing pains of our Christian life. It is wonderful yet painful. Especially painful when the people you love are the ones against you which, in my experience, is most common. Most difficult for me is trying to remember that their eyes are often still closed to the truth. No amount of arguing and defensiveness will change that. I have made that mistake and have the ruined relationships to prove it. The hardest thing for me is to hold my tongue when other's logic makes NO sense!

Here are several of the things I heard when we started to homeschool and the things I thought(or said-probably too often):

"Well I could never homeschool." Ok, well I didn't ask you to.

"You just want to keep your kids home so you don't have to be held responsible" uuuhhhh...what? I believe now 100% of the responsibility is on me. I wont have the chance to blame the teacher but you still do.

"I think Christian kids need to be in public school to be a light to the others" so let me understand...you send your kids to school for years then college to prepare them before sending then into the world to have a career and support themselves but a Christian child should be held responsible for the salvation of others by the time they are 5 (which is very often before they themselves are even saved)?

"How do you even know they are learning anything" Well, let's see. I am with them 24 hours a day. I see what they do in school and then how they are applying that in everyday life. How do you know? Oh, right! They brought you home a paper that said so.

"Well you can't just keep them hidden away from everybody" Of course we can't....at least not until we finish the moat! ;)

Well now that we have been homeschooling for 4 years the people that know me must be convinced that they will NOT sway me on that one so they have to move on to another issue. The hot topic as of late has been purity, modesty and courtship. I can understand some of the questions about homeschooling but why anyone would not want purity to at least be the goal for their children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, cousins or any other child is just beyond me! Now understand, my children are only 13, 9, and 8. Really it is only the 9 and 8 year old that I receive these comments about. For some reason my son's choices seem to be ok with people but the raising of my not even teen age girls is who people seem to have a problem with. You see, there is still several years before even my opposition would be comfortable with my girls dating so the topic is not one that comes up naturally. Some of these people could make big bucks writing for late night talk shows with the inventive ways they come up with to segway into this issue just to cause conflict and start a debate. Here are some of my favorite arguments:

"That isn't fair, did you and Monty wait?" Maybe it is just me but I thought all parents wanted to prevent their children from making the same mistakes they did.

"I would NEVER ask my daughter to wear a dress all the way to her knees!" Now your on the right track-I don't ASK my daughters either. I am the mother so I TELL them what is expected!

"That (courtship) is never gonna work. You know Keslee has a mind of her own and will do what she wants to!" First of all, ALL of my kids have a mind of their own and that is kinda the point. They are being taught to think for themselves instead of just doing what everyone else does!

"You don't want them to date?! You can't just never let them meet people!" Since when did "dating" mean "meeting people"? We live in a town, we go to stores, libraries, parks, restaurants and every single time there are people there. There are people at church. There are houses all around us and people live in all of them. They already meet people all the time and haven't dated yet so....

"I understand God has the perfect spouse picked out but what if that person never comes?" That either means you don't think God is powerful enough OR your ok with my kids settling for less just in case. Either way....WRONG!

"Expecting your kids not to kiss other people before they get married is just plain stupid!" Even if you think it is an impossible goal, why would anyone not support it as something to strive for? What good ever comes from making out with lots of people before marriage?? Can you give me one benefit.....didn't think so!

And I think my all time favorite would be "Every time I talk to you, you just sound crazier and crazier!" to which I say Thank you! That tells me that I am most definitely on the right track!

Now everything I have written are quotes from various people in my life. All of which claim to be Christians and all of which claim to love me and my children. If either of those are really true I wonder why it would be perfectly acceptable to them for my children to grow up to be promiscuous, scantly clad, relationship hopping adults. Some of the same people that told me "you only fail if you fail to try" when I was growing up are now telling me "Your goal is to hard and it is stupid to try!" with my own kids. People that ask their own kids "if everybody else jumped off a bridge, would you jump off also?" argue to me that I must be doing things wrong because I don't want to do it like everyone else. And then of course there is "I know what the Bible says but..." STOP RIGHT THERE! If you are convinced you know more than He does and could have better explained what He meant to say than the way He already said it then this is obviously something you need to take up with God before you bring it to me!

Now let me get this straight...the ones that refused to let me listen to Michael Jackson but now have no idea what is on their own child's ipod; that ridiculed me as a teenager for wearing a knee length denim skirt because it was not proper to wear to church but now allow their own teens to run around in itsy bitsy teeny bikinis; the ones that say "when your child is out of your sight they are in danger" but send their own children to spend 8 hours a day to be supervised, taught and indoctrinated by a person they met for 10 minutes at meet the teacher night; the ones that told me I could be anything I wanted to be and do anything I set my mind to; the ones that have had innumerable physical relationships that didn't work out; The ones that say we should live for God but now tell me am going overboard for my stance on Biblical principles.....These are the ones that think I am the crazy one!!??!!
Yeah! OK! Gotcha!

Daddy

A few weeks ago, I had a birthday. Nothing exciting. I have decided that I will stay 25 and after your 10th(or more) 25th birthday, the excitement kinda fades. There is, however, one little thing that has happened on every birthday for the last several years that I cherish. My daddy calls. It is always first thing in the morning, usually around 7, and I answer the phone to hear him singing " ♪♫happy birthday to my little girl, I♪ love♪ you♫♪!" Now I don't care how old ya get, that is just a GREAT way to start your day.

It made me start thinking about what really makes a great dad?Now our culture tells young people to WAIT. Wait to get married, finish your education, get a career, wait to have children until you have all these other things in order. (Of course there is no expectations on waiting to enjoy some of the perks that should be reserved for marriage.) These are supposed to be prerequisites of becoming a good parent. Unfortunately our culture is lying to our young people. These things have absolutely NOTHING to do with whether or not you will be a good parent. I would be willing to bet that those things, more often than not, hinder our ability to be good parents because we spend so many extra years on our own selfish pursuits and are then expected to all of a sudden be willing and able to put other's needs before our own. Easier said than done!!!

My dad was 19 when he married my 15 year old mother. They had neither one had tons of heartbreaks from years of failed relationships. They had not spent years living out on their own with only themselves to please.


At just 16 and 20 years old they became parents. I mean, they had not finished school and there was no talk of college. My dad was working at a furniture factory for a while and then worked in a greenhouse. Far from being established in a set and secure career. They rented a small house from my mother's grandma. They had not done any of the things our world said they should have done first. What they did do was love each other and they loved me!
Since I HAVE a great dad, it is obvious to me that none of those other things really matter. So what is it that really makes a great dad?!?

I think I will start by saying that my dad is not and was never a perfect dad. He made plenty of mistakes. I could easily sit here and give you a detailed list of the worst mistakes I believe that he made while raising 4 kids however, the specific mistakes are not important. The important part is that HE knows what mistakes he made. I can not tell you how many times my dad has apologized to me. There have been a number of times, even since I have been grown, that my dad has called me crying on the phone and begging me to forgive him for this or that from 5-10-20-30 or even 35 years ago. His ability to humble himself to his own child is just one way that he secured the hearts of his children. THAT is what makes a great parent! Holding the ♥hearts♥ of your children!

My dad has always securely held the hearts of every one of his kids. I have not lived one minute of my life questioning if my dad really loved me. I never felt the need to search out the love of a man to replace what I did not get from my dad. There has never been any topic that I did not feel comfortable in talking about with my dad. I have always known that I could go to him with ANYTHING and I always knew that I would get the truth from him. It is the same for my sister and both of my brothers.

My dad is who he is. He never tried to be somebody he is not. He has always been genuine. That is probably the reason I have always been able to discuss anything with him. I never had to worry about how he would react. I pretty much knew ahead of time what things he would be disappointed about, what things he would be excited about, what things he would disapprove of and what things he would approve of. I knew that even when he disapproved, he would love me and then he would let me know exactly why he did not approve. I knew when I disappointed him, he would love me and then encourage me to do better. Even if the disappointment caused him pain and tears(which he NEVER hid from us) love and encouragement was always there. He never hid who he was from us and we knew him as well as he knew us.

Just because his children are grown, he is still the same dad. He still makes time for each of us. He still calls just to talk. Before we all had children of our own, he still took us to 6 flags every year. After we got married our spouses joined us. After we started having kids, it changed to a camping trip or a trip to the fair. He always has time for the needs of his children! He still has a secure hold on the hearts of each of his children and now

he is also holding the hearts of his grand kids. My kids know that their hearts are just as safe and secure when they are around their papa as they are with their own daddy.

Now I feel I must say, I believe raising your children to love and honor the Lord is about the-most-important thing you can do for them. When I was growing up, my parents had us in church when we were young but they both strayed from that practice. They were both believers and did give us a foundation of faith, they just did not continue to build on that foundation like they should have. If they would have, I am sure their marriage would not have ended after 20 years. Because my dad held my heart, I ALWAYS thought "what would dad think" before I made decisions. If his worldview had been more biblical, my decisions in turn would naturally have been more biblical as well. I consider having your children's heart to be THE prerequisite of being a great parent because I have seen the results of a family that has had their children in church their whole lives, sent them to private christian schools, and produced kids that know more about the Bible than I do but because the father never held those kid's hearts, the outcome (so far) has been disastrous! My goal as a parent is to securely hold my children's hearts AND raise them with a biblical worldview. BECAUSE I have their hearts it makes the rest a lot easier.