Give 'em what they really want

 Christmas day is approaching faster and faster and everybody is doing their last minute gift shopping. I have talked before about how important it is for us to have our children's hearts. Christmas is a perfect opportunity for parents and grandparents to secure that hold. The easiest and best way is to give them what they want. Now before any one gets all in an uproar, I am in no way saying we should give our children EVERYTHING they ask for. I am not saying that we should go into debt and spend beyond our means in order to appease a child's never ending appetite for more stuff. What I am saying is listen to your child when they tell you the things they would like to have. Consider their feelings while you are shopping. Especially if you ASK them what they would like to have!! I have had several conversations as of late with a few adults that have no memory of getting just what they wanted from their parents. It had nothing to do with a lack of presents, they got plenty of presents just not what they had longed for. It could be as simple as wanting a Superman color book and getting a Batman book instead. When that happens consistently with every present they receive, a child will begin to realize that they don't really matter to you.  The adults I know that had that type of a childhood do not have the type of relationship with their parents now that I hope to have with my own grown children. They struggle putting other people's feelings before their own weather that other person is their spouse or their own children. They were taught by example to always think of themselves first because nobody else would. They live their entire life in a state of disappointment and it seems impossible for them to really trust others. I am so thankful that my parents took the time to think of us at gift giving time. When a 4 year old ONLY wants a Holly Hobby Doll bed and that is exactly what she gets, she remembers -for her whole life-that her parents truly valued her and her feelings.

Thats what I love about homeschool!

After we finished our lessons together,  I gave each kiddo instruction on some lessons to do on their own while I finally got a shower. I had to go back to the laundry room to find my socks and I noticed everyone was gone from the school area-aka the kitchen table.  I thought I better double check that things were getting done and this is what I found....

 One boy laying on the couch all cozy under a blanket with his science workbook.......

and two girls on the back porch, also under a cozy blanket, with a math test and an SRA.

I love homeschooling☺

Trying to control myself

Within the first few days of being laid up on the couch, the kids and I started talking about what lessons God may have for each of us through this trial. The fact that God knew what was happening and was in control was something I wanted to keep in the fore front of our minds. I began to pray, on my own and with the family, that we would learn the things God had for us to learn. There were many different lessons with selfishness being the big one. I could see right away that my husband and kids would have to put aside any selfish tendencies. Monty and the kids were forced to think of and put my needs before their own for obvious reasons. I COULDN'T take care of myself. I needed help with everything from getting across the room, to getting a drink, to cleaning house. Me and my leg had to be on their minds at all times. When anyone took a shower, they had to remember to make sure there were NO drops of water on the floor because the slightest wet spot would send a crutch out of control and I would be on the floor. When the girls played they always had to remember not to leave any toys laying on the floor or my path would be blocked and I wouldn't be able to get around at all. Monty had to think of things he normally never does; do we need toilet paper, what day is the electric bill due, do the kids have any clean clothes. They were all at my beck and call day and night because there were plenty of times that I needed something I couldn't get to or got into a position that I could not get out of on my own. It seemed rather obvious that God wanted them to put aside their own selfishness, and they were awesome. I was SOOO proud of them...but what lessons did God have for me?
 You see, I really like to be in control of things. I am the first born, I am the leader, I like to take care of business. There are times that I think, well I am doing everything for everyone...where would they be without me...good thing that I'm not selfish or these folks would be lost...and I could go on and on.
Well that is pure selfishness!!
Yes, I normally take care of everything because I am the only one that can do it right (or at least my definition of right). I have to  make sure things get done around here or nothing will ever get done (or so I thought). Well it didn't take me long to see that my family is capable of surviving without me. They all ate, took baths, cleaned up and the kids even did a little bit of school WITHOUT ANY HELP FROM ME. No, Kenyon and Keslee did not do the laundry exactly like I do but the clothes were still clean. Even though the clothes did not always end up in the right drawer, they still got put away. Monty did not buy groceries the way I do. Sometimes he brought home things I would never get or even got the wrong thing but it worked just as well. I was helpless without them and they didn't need me to survive.
WOW!
That is a tough one for this control freak. I was not  accepting my lesson nearly as gracefully as the others. They had so easily dropped everything to care for me and all I could think about was all I would have to do to fix everything when I was finally able. I felt selfish for asking my family to do everything for me. It took me a while to realize that they were happy to help me but I was the one that was unhappy about receiving that help from them or anyone else. God knew that my own selfishness was so deep and hidden that the only way I would be able to  learn this lesson was if I were taken completely out. I HAD to be rendered totally useless for more than a few days in order to even start to see it.  I say start to see it because now I feel like I have barely scratched the surface. I have so much to change. Now that I am able, I am trying not to just take over again. I am trying to find a balance between getting things done and letting others get things done-on THEIR time and THEIR way.  Funny how controlling things has made controlling get so out of control.  I am now attempting to take control of that control. I had always counted my ability to keep things in check as an asset but the Lord has begun to open my eyes to what a liability it really is. A liability to me and every member of my family.

Practical lessons

We have been back to school and going strong for a few weeks now. Lots of students have a fall break but we had an extended "break" break from school. While I was on pain pills, we just could not keep up with our daily school. Kenyon did work on alot of his on his own but with all the extra responsibilities he took on he didn't get a whole lot done. The girls tried and mainly only did some math and handwriting. As I mentioned before, I was on pain pills every 4 hours for almost a month. Thanks to the wonderful side effects, I could not stay awake long and often nodded off when we would try to do school. Since we use My Father's World, I teach and read most of the history to everyone together each day and we have discussions and make notebook sheets. Another side effect I suffered was double vision. I could not see straight to read. That really puts a damper on things when our days normally revolve around ME reading. Thankfully I have been homeschooling long enough to realize that not all, and often not even most, of our learning time is actual "school" time. Even though we were not hitting the books, my kids were learning every single day! Of course, most other people do not always understand that as evident by a conversation Keslee had with the little girl across the street...

Neighbor girl: How are you getting your school work done?
Keslee: We haven't really done much school lately.
N.g.: I feel sorry for you! When you are 21 years old you are going to be so stupid!

Although I knew they were learning, when my concerned daughter relayed this conversation to me, I knew I had to do better at letting the kids know that they were learning as well and how proud I was of them. I then started taking the time to point out the things that they were learning that they may not have if it weren't for this trial.

 For instance...How many (non-homeschooled) 9 year olds can make an entire meal for a family of 5? Keslee had not done much cooking but always likes to "help" in the kitchen. One night she decided that she wanted to make dinner all by herself and she did! She ordered me to stay out of the kitchen and if she had a question she would come ask. When it came time for her to drain the grease off of the hamburger meat, I told her I would come help with that so that she did not burn herself. She assured me that she could do it but I just wasn't as sure. I decided to make my way into the kitchen anyway. Since I was not as quick as I used to be, I made it there just in time to see her finishing up with a smile on her face to say "See? Told ya I could do it."  She made taco salad for supper and topped it off with strawberry shortcake for dessert.

 After I got my staples taken out, I had to remove my splint and wash my ankle everyday. The incisions were doing good but the wound that the bone had made had to heal on it's own from the inside out. That was the only spot the doctor seemed real concerned about and we had to be sure that it did not "get ugly" (as my doctor put it). Since Monty is gone the biggest part of the day, I had to do something I never would have thought I could do. I had to put my medical care in the hands of a 13 and 9 year old. Kenyon and Keslee took over and were unbelievable! Everyday one of them would help me remove the splint and wash the wounds.

After everything was clean and doctored, they re wrapped my leg. Having 2 broken bones and no hard, protective cast really made me feel like my leg was very vulnerable.  The times that the splint was also off was a stressful time for all of us. My foot was purple, about 3 times fatter than the other one, had scars, steri-stips and open wounds and I could not move it. Any wrong move or if the splint was not exactly in the correct position put me in horrible pain and my nurses were very aware of that. To be able to wash, doctor and wrap a wounded leg under that type of pressure would have to be tough for anyone. To do it for someone you love and would never want to inflict pain on, well that is serious. All I can think about are the times when my kids had a splinter or a huge, deep sticker in their foot. As a mother, you know you have to get it out but as a mother holding a crying child that is screaming "DON'T TOUCH IT!" you almost don't want to do it. That must be how my own children were feeling. (and, yes there were times when Keslee and I both cried through the whole process.)     When I say that my children amaze me what I mean is...they AMAZE me!!!

There were lots of other practical lessons that the kids were learning along the way. Kenyon cooked almost everyday. He also did the laundry and taught Keslee how to use the washing machine so she could help. Kalysa got really good at taking clothes out of the washer and starting the dryer. Since our dishwasher went out right in the middle of everything else, Kenyon got to do dishes. The girls have done dishes by hand several times and I just did not realize that Kenyon never had before. Kalysa can now sweep the floor correctly. Since Monty got to do all the shopping, Keslee was the go to girl to ride along. She knows just which kind of dish soap, toilet paper, shampoo and etc. that we use in this house. It wasn't just me that noticed what all the kids were learning. One day my grandma came by and she told them that they shouldn't worry to much about their school work because we can catch that up anytime but they were learning things that they will use their entire lives; lessons that most kids today don't ever get to learn at home. Hearing that from her was a blessing to us all.

 Oh yeah, there was plenty of learnin goin on 'round here!  And of course EVERYONE in the house learned.....





how to walk on crutches ☺.



....2 months later.....

Well, it has been 2 months since that fateful night that changed our entire lives. I would have never guessed how much one broken ankle could effect-every-single-aspect-of our daily lives!!! I mean, I had done it before with no problem.
I broke the same ankle 20 years ago. I was 19 (HEY now-STOP doing the math!!!) and in college. We had already had a good snow storm in the Oklahoma Panhandle and on halloween day I was wrestling around with one of the basketball players as we each tried to throw the other into a snow drift. In Oklahoma, we don't just get snow without a good layer of ice to go with it and I found that ice....right in front of the dorm...with plenty of onlookers...I broke my ankle. As I sat in the ER with my best friends, Amy and Cathy, we laughed and joked the whole time. I got a splint and some crutches and headed back to school. I made it back to my room (did I mention that I lived on the the 3rd floor!?!) and that night I stayed in my dorm room all alone and watched out my window as everyone else went across the street to the ballroom and a weekend dance. That dance was the only thing I remember missing out on the entire time(well, besides some classes but that can't really be blamed on the leg). That broken leg did not  slow me down at all. I went up and down 3 flights of stairs everyday, I drove, went to the sporting events,  hung out with my friends, and I even moved out of the dorm and into my first house with that broken leg.

This was definitely not THAT broken leg.

Of course I have to note that...
     I only broke one bone then and this time I broke 2
    The bone did not come through the skin then like it did this time
     I did not have surgery then like I did this time
     and of course I am NOT 19 this time
This time I almost could not even function. The pain was unbelievable!! For about the first month I was on pain pills every 4 hours. I never slept more than about 2-3 hours at a time during the day or night. I had crutches but it was not anything like the first time. Since I did not have a hard cast and did not even have the surgery for the first 10 days, I could not even rest my foot on the floor. The angle of the splint was not 90* so my toe was slightly pointed. That meant that I could not put my foot behind me without banging my toe on the floor. Have you ever tried hopping on one foot with the other held straight out in front of you?? It is NOT easy. Thankfully the church loaned me a wheelchair and I don't know what I would have done without that!! Since I was basically immobile my husband and kids had to take over. Monty did all the shopping and errand running. Kenyon took over the cooking and laundry. Keslee and Kalysa helped out being mom's nurse, cleaning up and helping Monty and Kenyon as much as they could. Through it all, God was/is still in control and we each had lessons He wanted us to learn. We each had growing to do.  I am collecting my thoughts and hope to share some of that with you soon. As for now, I am up and walking-in a huge and uncomfortable hard boot! I am now able to gradually take back over the running of my household and we are getting back into a good routine with our school work. God is good!
    

Not in my plan!

This is NOT how I had planned on spending my fall and winter but apparently God had other plans.

Monday evening I stepped off my porch and ,somehow, completely missed the  bottom step. I hit the sidewalk just right and broke my left leg and skinned up my right leg. It was almost a compound fracture, the bone did cut the skin but did not come completely through. I will be having surgery Thursday to put pins in one side and plates on the other. This has really put a damper on things but my kids have been a great help during the day. They have not complained about having to do so much for mom because I can't do much of anything but make my way to the bathroom and then back to the couch. Kenyon has taken over the cooking and the kids have brought their school work in around me to do. It is going pretty slow since I can only stay awake about 2 hours at a time with the pain medicine but we are doing what we can. Monty has taken over running the errands and doing the dishes before and after work. I am not sure what exactly God has in store for us but my family is learning servant hood pretty quickly. I am learning that things don't have to only be done MY way in order for it to be considered done. One way or another, I pray that God's name is glorified through this trial we are facing.

Can you lick your elbow?

So I have been MIA in blog land but things have been moving right along here at home. Like this.....

 a typical day of homeschooling. I don't even remember what lesson we were doing when this topic came up and we had to take a "contest" break.

 We started back to school about a month ago. I still have a list of curriculum I need to buy for this year so we started by finishing up the things we did not finish last year. We had a few weeks of lessons left on the My Father's World-Rome to the Reformation. We have been working on finishing that before we start Exploration to 1850. Hopefully by the time we finish that I will have the funds to get the rest of what we need for this year which is mostly our read alouds, progeny press study guides, and some supplemental material for the girls.

Kenyon is doing a Baptist Heritage course this year that I am really pleased with. The author spoke at our church during our mission conference. We learned soooo much so I just had to buy the books. I did the course myself through the summer and Kenyon is doing it now. I now see why knowing where we come from is important for more than just cultural reasons. I may have more on this topic later if I can find the time and the words to write it out.

Keslee has still been having trouble with reading. She can read pretty good but not nearly as well as Kalysa or Kenyon when he was her age. Her writing/spelling is awful as well. She loves to write stories but I have a hard time reading them when she is finished. She has gotten into the habit of spelling words just the way they sound (which I know is allowed in many public schools now) and most of her words had no vowels. I have started Alphabet Island with her this year and I.AM.SO.IMPRESSED! We went ahead and started in level one, even though she knows all the sounds of the letters and can read and write 3 letter words with no problem and will be able to go through several of the lessons really quickly, but the beginning had a very detailed story about the vowels and how they "act". It has already opened up a whole new world for her. She has always been my child that need to experience things with ALL her senses in order to fully "get" it and Alphabet Island does that for her. Every letter is a different character (boy or girl) and they all have things they can or can not do. The story is phenomenal. The authors are obviously geniuses to come up with an on going story line detailing the way each "person" "acts". After just 10 lessons, I can read her stories. Her spelling has improved 100%! She is just as excited as I am because she doesn't have to struggle with it. It is finally making sense to her-YAY!!!!

We are still using Math U See and the girls are doing SRAs for reading comprehension. The girls are also starting to learn the recorder. That will help them get the basics down on reading music and then I hope to teach them both piano lessons. My mother said we can have her piano we just have not had a way to move it over here yet. I took piano lessons for about a year and I played the clarinet for 8 years so I should be able to get them started off with piano before we have to search out a "real" teacher.

Well, that is an overview of what is up here and I guess will work just fine as my introduction back into blogging.☺ Thanks for stopping by!