Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Give 'em what they really want

 Christmas day is approaching faster and faster and everybody is doing their last minute gift shopping. I have talked before about how important it is for us to have our children's hearts. Christmas is a perfect opportunity for parents and grandparents to secure that hold. The easiest and best way is to give them what they want. Now before any one gets all in an uproar, I am in no way saying we should give our children EVERYTHING they ask for. I am not saying that we should go into debt and spend beyond our means in order to appease a child's never ending appetite for more stuff. What I am saying is listen to your child when they tell you the things they would like to have. Consider their feelings while you are shopping. Especially if you ASK them what they would like to have!! I have had several conversations as of late with a few adults that have no memory of getting just what they wanted from their parents. It had nothing to do with a lack of presents, they got plenty of presents just not what they had longed for. It could be as simple as wanting a Superman color book and getting a Batman book instead. When that happens consistently with every present they receive, a child will begin to realize that they don't really matter to you.  The adults I know that had that type of a childhood do not have the type of relationship with their parents now that I hope to have with my own grown children. They struggle putting other people's feelings before their own weather that other person is their spouse or their own children. They were taught by example to always think of themselves first because nobody else would. They live their entire life in a state of disappointment and it seems impossible for them to really trust others. I am so thankful that my parents took the time to think of us at gift giving time. When a 4 year old ONLY wants a Holly Hobby Doll bed and that is exactly what she gets, she remembers -for her whole life-that her parents truly valued her and her feelings.

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