Hillbilly Hands-Free

I really love having this blog as a place to express myself and share tid-bits about our life. I especially love to share the funny moments that having children automatically provides. Anytime something funny is said or done, the first thing I hear is "Oh no, mom. Are you gonna put that on your blog?" Well I never want to be accused of not being fair so I have to post this one-besides, my husband took the photo and instructed me he was taking it specifically for my blog. I figured I better get it up before he decided to do it for me so here goes...

If you have browsed around at some of my past posts, you probably know that my mom and I do a paper route everyday from about 430am to 630am. We share a route, she starts on one end and I start on the other and we meet in the middle-which really would make it the end since when we meet we have both finished our half- but anyway. It can get kinda boring out on the country roads with no one to talk to but the animals and since the time that we are on the route falls in the free nights period, mom and I are usually on the cell phone with each other-and another paper carrier-and my brother the over night truck driver-and anyone that needs an early morning wake up call. Neither of us has a blue tooth and the hands free ear piece is really impractical when you are driving while folding papers with a sleeve of newspaper bags dangling from a string around your neck, reaching out the passenger window, throwing papers out both windows at the same time, grabbing papers from the floorboard or the back seat or whatever...the little cord that connects the earpiece to the phone could really become a potential hazard! They always say that necessity is the mother of invention so mom and I invented the Hillbilly Hands-Free. My mom and I have a matching pair and they really work great! So now that you have the background information, back to how Monty got the picture...



So I was cooking dinner and thought "I haven't talked to Amy in like two days so we are really overdue for a phone call but it is so hard to talk on the phone and cook dinner plus I really need to finish loading the dishwasher but...oh-wait! I have my hillbilly hands-free laying right here!" Problem solved! I call Amy, hook up my hands free and continue with my wifely duties in the kitchen. It is about that time that my loving husband walks in and says "OH NO! It is one thing to wear that crazy thing on the paper route in the middle of the night but now your gonna wear it around the house too!?!?" and he picked up my camera snapped a few photos and instructed me I can post THAT on my blog so...

here is the debut of the HILLBILLY HANDS-FREE.....



...drum roll please...





here is a little closer shot so that you can see that a cell phone fits perfectly and the tie under the chin holds it snugly in place!



Now I know you are all wondering why in the world I would post this on the internet without even going through the proper channels to secure a patten yet, but I just really trust yall not to steal our invention before we are able to properly market it. If you would like to place your orders now, we will do our best to fill them promptly but please specify what color of dangely thingies you would like hanging off each side.

-all sales are final-please add $5.99 shipping and handling-not available in Alaska or Hawaii-

Are they old enough to stay home alone?

As I mentioned before, we had a fun library day last week. We had made plans to hit the library and then run to wal-mart to pick up a few things and then head back home. Well, we had some unexpected fun at the library (you can read about that here) so it took us an extra long time. Since we have completed our curriculum and school is out for the summer-YEA! that is if school is ever really out which I don't believe it really is when you homeschool. you just may not do curriculum type work everyday but the learning never stops:) -we checked out some extra movies(our library has several feature films for families and if you have never seen Summer of the Monkeys we ALL recommend it). So anyway, as we are leaving the library and the kids are discussing which movie we are gonna watch first, Kalysa says "Mom, I really don't feel like going to wal-mart now. Can you just drop me off at the house on your way?" My six year old asks me to drop her off at the house-which is empty, mind you, since we are all together and daddy is still at work- and she says it like it is an everyday thing. Like she just totally expected me to say "sure honey" and drop her off. Could someone please tell me when my baby grew up and where was I exactly when it happened?!

Being the mother of a boy

Being the mother of a boy is a unique and puzzling experience. If you are lucky enough to have at least one boy and one girl, it takes about 2 minutes tops to realize that they are made to think and act completely different. I have been the mother of a boy for 11 years now and I am really no closer to understanding the way he thinks than I was the day he was born. I believe God gave me 1 boy for a couple of reasons...1.to really challenge my own way of thinking on just about every aspect of life and 2.because he knew one was all I could deal with! I stand in awe of mother's of numerous boys and especially mothers of all boys. I really don't know how you ladies do it (yes Angela and Deborah-I mean you!)! There are so many times when I really just have no idea where he comes from. They other day, I jumped in the shower after Kenyon had gotten out. He takes really quick showers and could not have been in the bathroom any longer than 10 minutes total. As I am washing my hair, I lean my head back and happen to see this...

YES!-that is my ceiling and YES! it is covered with bubbles!?!? After I finished my shower, I got my camera and took this photo and showed the picture to the girls. Both of them were completely puzzled and could not figure out what I had taken a photo of. I showed the photo to my dear son and he giggled and said "oh yeah, I was playing." and just went on like that is perfectly normal. What!?! How does "playing" all of a sudden equal bubbles covering the ceiling of the bathroom? How is that any fun and why did he not assume I would ever question this? I guess I really just don't understand boys.

Homeschool-my newest baby

I have only been a homeschool mom for a short time, we just finished our second homeschool year, but I have to say the way homeschooling has captured my heart can only be described as the same type of feeling you get when your new born baby is first placed in your arms-your heart instantly swells with love and all of a sudden all seems right with the world(at least your world!). You know immediately that nothing could take that love from you and you would go to the ends of the earth doing whatever necessary to protect this infant. These feelings come over you and you realize "This is it! This is what I was created for!". Your purpose in life becomes a little more clear. Yeah, that's about how homeschooling feels-like my newest baby. Just like in child rearing, homeschooling starts off with family members, friends and even strangers that really believe they know better than you and like to tell you exactly what you should be doing. Spunky shares a great example of this and adds her own rebuttal to each argument(be sure to read everyones comements as well). Just like in raising my children, I know that I know them-I know what homeschool is and why we do it and why it is the only way. That is one that all mothers/homeschoolers experience pretty early on and each new piece of "advice" strengthens your convictions and confirms that, even though you will make mistakes, you are doing it the right way when you are making God guided decisions with motherly love so you quietly listen to each person rattle off the reasons you should be doing this and definitely not do that and you let their rants slide right out your other ear and go home and raise your baby the way you know is best. That issue has never been too tough for me, I've never been one to crumble easily and follow the crowd doing what others say I should just assuming that they must know more than me. It is the second big issue that has really gotten to me now. Like every new mother, you have those moments when you feel so inadequate. How will you know what to do when this new baby gets sick? How will you ever be able to see that this child makes it all the way to adulthood? What do you do when the road gets REALLY rough and you feel so unprepared and inexperienced? Those are the feelings I am having now with homeschooling. Again I must go back to another recent post by Spunky about one more way the government is trying to take the state's rights away, gain complete federal control over educating American children, and create an even BIGGER government.(if you are not already a spunky reader-I highly recommend it! she is great!!) As we all know, America has recently elected a new president-Barack Obama. The thing I am surprised so many people do not know(or worse, know it but don't care) is that we are heading straight towards becoming a socialist/communist country fast. I really should not be surprised that others don't understand that. After graduating from public high school and attending 2 years of college, I never really knew the ingredients that make up socialism until I decided to homeschool and in turn started reading and researching everything from laws to learning styles to history to public school statistics to what socialization really is and the list goes on. So like a new mother that watches children all around her getting sicker and sicker and trys to learn how to ward off this disease and protect her child at the same time trying to learn everything about the disease and preparing to fight it because all signs point to the probability that her child will eventually get sick as well, I feel inadequate and unprepared. How can I ward of this disease of socialism and keep it as far away from my homeschool as possible? If prevention is not possible, how will I be able to do what I know I must and prevent sure death of my precious homeschool? How do I prepare for something I have never seen first hand, something no one else I know has personally experienced? Like the first sign of fever in your tiny infant, all the most extreme horrible possibilities are rolling through my head but that is something we have all been through. Full on socialism and government control of every aspect of our lives is not. You can call on any number of friends for advice on what they did and how they got through that first fever. I feel totally in the dark with no one on earth to call on to save and protect my homeschool. Again, like my own children, I must place my homeschool in the Lord's hands knowing that He does have a plan and all though He never promises that it will be easy, He does promise that He will always be with us and equip us to endure whatever may come. He is the only comfort available for these unknown waters. I know He is gonna be there and I just wanted to be sure that you would be too.

Proof kids do live here!

Yes, kids really do live here. There is proof everywhere you look. As I was out in the yard the other day, I decided to gather some photographic evidence of that fact.

LIKE...

soccer ball kicked beneath a bush...

Dora doll house kitchen chair...

Dora tent...

Skateboard embedded in mud...

basketball left among the twigs...

missing church shoes...

little kitchen dinner plate...

one lonely croc...

sagging backyard pool complete with dirt from a full days swimming and missing 3/4 water used to make mud for skateboard...

HEY! Why isn't that in the dishwasher?!?...

sponge bob soccer ball...

one rain boot of someone with soggy feet

ice chest perfect for that little extra boost to climb a tree...

Dora's horse drawn carriage minus one horse...

and of course one portable washer/dryer/ironing board on the sidewalk...

I have to work at thanking God like I should for the trails my children leave behind them. I have to remember to be thankful because those trails leave with them a message. They say we have been blessed with children. They say that this is the home of a FAMILY. They say we are fortunate and have toys to play with and shoes to wear and cups to drink from. They say the children here are healthy and happy and always on the go. They say imaginations are in use. I must remind myself that my house is not messy it is lived in....my yard is not messy it is played in!

A little fun at the library

Last Thursday we had a library day. We always have a good time at the library and end up spending at least 2 hours for the 4 of us searching through books and movies trying to find just the right ones to bring home for the week. Well it just so happened that there was extra fun at the library and we happened to get there just in time for an ice cream social (who's gonna pass up free ice cream?!) and face painting. Keslee was all for the face painting and even choose to have her face painted BEFORE she got ice cream.

She got 2 big pink butterflies-one on each cheek-photo was taken post accidental rubbing with the back of her hand.
Now Kenyon is pretty shy-ok, that is a lie-Kenyon is VERY shy and does not like to do anything that may draw extra attention to him and cause him to momentarily become the center of attention so it took some convincing-sorry...another lie...I don't know what my problem is today-it took some bribery to get him to sit in that chair and get paint put on his face,

but when the lady said she could do a fire breathing dragon-he was all about it!

He had flames shooting across his forehead and he thought that was about the coolest thing possible. I thought she did a great job and it was so fun to see him loosen up and make a spectacle of himself and really enjoy it.
Kalysa takes after her big brother in a lot of ways and the whole shyness thing is one of them. I had to pull out the ol' bribery trick once again-I ain't gonna lie no more...she got extra computer time when we got home-and she finally decided to get some balloons.

The strings wrapped across her chin and ended with a big bow tying them together at the base of her other cheek-so cute!

Being thirty-blahblah years old, I don't ever remember having my face painted as a child-unless you want to count a few times I dressed as a clown for halloween-but I mean never anything as cool as butterflies and dragons. It just wasn't something that we did way back in the eighties, so...

WHAT? You didn't really think I was gonna miss out on all the fun did ya? NO WAY! I got my own little bouquet of flowers to sport for the rest of the day! and yes!-we did have to go to Wal-mart after the library and EVERYBODY loved my flowers!

Butterfly Wings and Fairy Dust

Kalysa hates bugs. No I mean she really HATES bugs. Any thing that could ever be counted as a bug-those are the ones that Kalysa really hates. She will pass up playing outside with a neighborhood full of kids if she sees too many bugs near by. Running through the sprinkler or playing on the slip and slide will be abandoned in a second if a little bee happens to stop for a drink of nectar from a near by flower. That's it-it's over-she's is in the house for the day! She is perfectly content to stay inside and pull out the Dora house furniture and all the dolls and play by herself. When the glass front door is covered with moths and June bugs and any number of other little flying insects (especially now that summer is here and we are out past dark more often ), Kalysa will not walk up the steps of the porch to go inside. She will wait at the bottom of the steps keeping a close eye on every move made be every flying creature making quick calculations of just how close is TOO close and preparing to run for cover until Kenyon comes back outside(just realizing she never made it in the house and instantly knowing why) and picks her up and carries her in the house. She does not seem to have a problem going through the same insect infested area she was avoiding as long as she is in her big brother's arms. It drives me crazy that she hates bugs so much. I don't like my kids to have irrational fears(scared of the dark-scared of ghost-scared of bugs-scared of dogs-scared of their shadow...). I would go so far as to say that I don't allow my kids to have irrational fears. I do every thing I can to make them face their fears, see how silly the fear really is, get over it and move along. So why does Kalysa still have this fear? Well it is like this-She is the baby of the family. She has 4 other people that want to take care of her and she takes full advantage of it. Even more than the fact that she is her mama's baby or her daddy's baby...she is a BABY SISTER to 2(refer back to bug on porch story). So that would explain why Keslee was jumping and running ALL over the living room. She looked like some little ninja girl in the heat of a serious battle because a moth had found it's way into the house and was minding it's own business flying around the light fixture BUT Kalysa wanted it GONE. Keslee would jump with arms wailing and legs flying trying every trick in her little pink book to catch this one lonely moth to save her baby sister from the terrible possibility of.?.?.of?.?of what exactly???...oh yea-Being in the same room as a moth. That little moth put up quit a fight to. He used all eight feet of available space between the floor and the ceiling trying to escape the wrath of a 4 foot BIG sister. It took Keslee a good ten minutes but she finally got that little guy tuckered out enough that he lost his concentration-or he got a little arrogant from having avoided her reach for so long-and accidentally landed within her reach and she caught him (much to Kalysa's delight!). After she disposed of him outside, she came to the kitchen to wash her hands.....

Kes:Mom I got dust on my fingers from that moth's wings. What is it?
Me:It is some kind of powder. Butterflies and moths have it on their wings. They can't fly if you wipe it off.
Kes:But what is it?
Me:I guess it is their own type of fairy dust.
Kes:Since it is on my fingers...does that mean I could fly right now?
Kalysa:TRY IT KES!! TRY IT!!!
Keslee begins frantically flapping arms-to no avail:(