Wednesday, May 5, 2010

When homeschooling doesn't work

I ♥ homeschooling. I will just let you know that I am "one of those homeschoolers." believe that home school is the best option, it is for everyone, and ANYONE could do it if they wanted to. I realize that there are several factors in our world today that often times make it harder or seem impossible for some families to homeschool. If our country would have stayed on the path our fore father's intended and continued to seek the Lord in all of our endeavors, I believe homeschooling would still be the norm instead of the exception. Unfortunately I have experienced one incident when homeschooling does not work today.

As you may know, I have homeschooled my sister, Jacinta, for the last 2 years. She joined our homeschool because she is just a year younger than my son and my mom works and does a paper route. She had been enrolled in a Christian school since Kindergarten but my mom and step dad found themselves with financial difficulties that made continuing to pay tuition impossible for them at the time. I thought that I was helping them and helping her by taking her education on myself. The first year went really well. We all enjoyed it and learned a lot. Well, that is not true-we did not ALL enjoy it. My husband did not like it. Monty feels like I take to much on. I try to be everything for everyone. I always want to help others and often times it is at the expense of my own responsibilities. Monty told me that he did not want me to continue teaching Jacinta. When this school year started, my mom and step dad's financial situation had not improved and my mother's jobs make her time very limited. I decided to continue with Jacinta's education.


It did not work because I was in direct disobedience to my husband which means I was also being disobedient to God. I did not submit to his will as the Bible instructs me to do. It did not work because I can not "home" school a student that does not live in my home. One of the greatest benefits of homeschooling is the relationships that develop between all the members of the family. Being together and learning together is natural. Jacinta was not getting any of those benefits. She was getting angrier everyday that she had to come to my house. She did not like for her sister acting as her mother while she was here. We are to the point that we do not even like each other anymore. I realized that I am not helping Jacinta or my mom. I have tried to take on a responsibility that is not my own. In doing that, I became an enabler. Just like anytime we outsource any of our own responsibilities, we do not deal with the problem at hand and just let the other person or government entity take over. Nothing is solved.
Even though this years school year has been very difficult and at times I wonder if we have actually progressed academically, I learned many lessons. First and for most, I learned that I should have listened to my husband. No matter how much I tried, I could not make things work and I know that is largely due to the fact that I was going against my husband's wishes each day that I continued. My own convictions to never put my own children back in public schools have also gotten stronger. I have seen first had the fact that only I have my children's best interest at heart. Even though Jacinta is my sister, I love her, and I want only what is best for her (which is what every public school teacher would tell you), it is not the same. There were many times that she had a bad attitude (she is 13!) and wanted to argue about different lessons. Although I tried, I did not feel the same need to make sure she "got it" that I feel with Kenyon in the same situation. I will always go the extra mile for my own children. That same instinct is just not there for someone else's child no matter how much you love them.
These lessons were hard to learn and even harder to admit to myself and then admit to my mom. Luckily, it only took this one year and now I want to make everything right. I have told my mom and step dad that I will not be teaching Jacinta after this school year. I do not know what avenue they are going to use for the rest of her education but they will figure that out. It is not my place to make those decisions. I have to concentrate on my own family; teaching my own children; honoring my own husband. I am soooo excited about this next year of school. It will actually be the first time that it will be just me and my 3 children. It will be a whole new dynamic for us. I can't wait! If the joy that I have been experiencing in my marriage since the day I made the decision to not homeschool Jacinta is any indication-NEXT YEAR IS GONNA BE AWESOME!!

1 comment:

DeDe said...

Whew, you spilled your heart out right here on this little blog of yours. It can be a hard lesson (or to re-learn again) that love and like are two way different emotions. And your so right about only you & your husband having your childrens best interest at heart. The Lord did not call someone else, He called you!
I love ya friend!

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