Friday, February 11, 2011


Ok, so once again I have been missing from blog land. I really enjoy my blog and have stopped in often with the intention of posting something new but for some reason I always end up leaving with nothing new to say. I have spent lots of time wondering to myself just why I can't seem to share anything new. Why can I not just leave a simple little post about the cuteness of my kids or the weather and move on?
Well I have come to the conclusion that the problem is within me. I am not really sure my purpose in this particular post. I guess I would call this a disclaimer. I want to let you know my heart. I love the Lord Jesus Christ. I want the light of Jesus to shine through me and that is in where the problem lies. I feel so inadequate. I know myself in all my sinfulness. I see where I fail daily and even hourly. I don't want to be a stumbling block for anyone in their walk with the Lord. Most of all, I don't want my failures to make my Lord look bad. With those thoughts in mind, when I am going through a tough situation and especially if it is a situation I have not or am not handling a well as I should, I have a hard time discussing anything. I am not very good at faking it. If I were to just blog about nothingness, I would feel like I am falsely portraying a person who is doing such a good job at living faithfully for the Lord when I know that is not always the case. If I were to just spill out all of my failures for the world to see I would feel as if I have let down the Lord and let down anyone who may be out there that has ever looked to me for inspiration or encouragement with my own hypocrisy. So there ya have it. I say nothing, talk about nothing, post nothing and here we are.
Well that is not working so good for me because....well...I like to talk. I like to share my thoughts and experiences and interact with people. That is the whole reason I started a blog in the first place. So, here is the disclaimer part.....
I am NOT perfect
I am not the best help meet
..I have a very hard time being submissive to my husband
..Meek and mild are adjectives never used in conjunction with my name husband and I don't always communicate well with each other
I am not a great homeschool mom
..sometimes I yell too much
..some days school doesn't get done at all
..sometimes I don't expect enough of my kids
..sometimes I expect too much
I am not the greatest keeper of my home laundry is ALWAYS behind house is never really clean sink holds at least a few dirty dishes most of the time
I am not the greatest Christian
..I don't always read my Bible
..I miss church sometimes
..I try to take control to often instead of letting go and letting God faith is not always strong

There ya have it! Now I am not too vain to believe that anyone ever really believed that I was anywhere close to being perfect but I just needed to say that. Now I feel like I can share again. I don't know yet how much of the bad I will share but just know that it is there. Through it all, I am still growing in the Lord. I am always learning and changing and now you have many specific examples of areas you could pray for me about.


Elizabeth said...

Just hang in there, girl! We all struggle in all the areas you listed. I could copy/paste that list onto my blog and own it myself. I'm so glad that God loves us despite our shortcomings and failures. <3

Anonymous said...

....and that my friend means you're a NORMAL Christian. :)

Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood...

I love you and I think you're great! Being real is an excellent testimony for others to see that God loves us... regardless of our failures. keep on keeping on dear friend. Love you, Angela Jennings

char said...

Thanks girls! Intelectually I know that but emotionally I don't always remember. And Angela-I ♥ you too! You know you have always been one of my biggest insperations and I remember realizing that you were actually "normal". It just made me love you more. For some reason I know that is how it happens for me concerning other people but still don't think other people will feel that way about me.

Anonymous said...

Wow! it feels good to just get it out sometimes doesn't it? Char, I love you so much and you are such a great person and friend. I can't wait to talk to you again!!

Mobenda said...

What??? You mean you're not perfect?? I don't believe that for a minute! hee hee Don't forget that God gives us the power to be who He wants us to be. He also loves us where we are - thank goodness - and is so merciful and full of grace. It's refreshing to see the things you worry about. They are the same things I worry about. Please know that you ARE an incredible inspiration to me. I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know you and I look forward to knowing you better.

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