Ok, so once again I have been missing from blog land. I really enjoy my blog and have stopped in often with the intention of posting something new but for some reason I always end up leaving with nothing new to say. I have spent lots of time wondering to myself just why I can't seem to share anything new. Why can I not just leave a simple little post about the cuteness of my kids or the weather and move on?
Well I have come to the conclusion that the problem is within me. I am not really sure my purpose in this particular post. I guess I would call this a disclaimer. I want to let you know my heart. I love the Lord Jesus Christ. I want the light of Jesus to shine through me and that is in where the problem lies. I feel so inadequate. I know myself in all my sinfulness. I see where I fail daily and even hourly. I don't want to be a stumbling block for anyone in their walk with the Lord. Most of all, I don't want my failures to make my Lord look bad. With those thoughts in mind, when I am going through a tough situation and especially if it is a situation I have not or am not handling a well as I should, I have a hard time discussing anything. I am not very good at faking it. If I were to just blog about nothingness, I would feel like I am falsely portraying a person who is doing such a good job at living faithfully for the Lord when I know that is not always the case. If I were to just spill out all of my failures for the world to see I would feel as if I have let down the Lord and let down anyone who may be out there that has ever looked to me for inspiration or encouragement with my own hypocrisy. So there ya have it. I say nothing, talk about nothing, post nothing and here we are.
Well that is not working so good for me because....well...I like to talk. I like to share my thoughts and experiences and interact with people. That is the whole reason I started a blog in the first place. So, here is the disclaimer part.....
I am NOT perfect
I am not the best help meet
..I have a very hard time being submissive to my husband
..Meek and mild are adjectives never used in conjunction with my name
..my husband and I don't always communicate well with each other
I am not a great homeschool mom
..sometimes I yell too much
..some days school doesn't get done at all
..sometimes I don't expect enough of my kids
..sometimes I expect too much
I am not the greatest keeper of my home
..my laundry is ALWAYS behind
..my house is never really clean
..my sink holds at least a few dirty dishes most of the time
I am not the greatest Christian
..I don't always read my Bible
..I miss church sometimes
..I try to take control to often instead of letting go and letting God
..my faith is not always strong
There ya have it! Now I am not too vain to believe that anyone ever really believed that I was anywhere close to being perfect but I just needed to say that. Now I feel like I can share again. I don't know yet how much of the bad I will share but just know that it is there. Through it all, I am still growing in the Lord. I am always learning and changing and now you have many specific examples of areas you could pray for me about.
V ~ Vacuum Cleaner
17 hours ago