Monday, April 27, 2009

Confession is good for the soul

I had said before that the reason I had not been posting much lately is because we have been so busy. Well that is true. I am pretty sure yesterday I was hearing about April fool's tricks and then look up and a new month is starting in just a few days. I REALLY don't know where this month has gone. We have not slowed down for a minute. Now on to the confession part....busyness is not the only reason I have not been blogging. I have been in a funk lately. I have allowed the problems of this world to completely overwhelm me. I have not been fun to be around and I would not have been able to post anything that anyone would have wanted to read. You know-"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything." Well I did not trust myself to say anything. I know I have been awful, especially to my husband, and I have been praying alot for forgiveness and guidance. Monty is just a great enough of a guy that he forgives me and has welcomed my old self back with open arms(boy am I lucky!) and God has started showing my the error of my way and lighting the path for my return. We have been blessed sooo much and the devil hates it. They always say "When God is Blessing-the Devil is stressing" so what does he do. Well he starts working overtime on me(the emotional control freak part of me) and I am ashamed to say I failed the tests too many times in the last few weeks. It has mostly been about money which I know is the stupidest thing to stress about but I did.
God clearly tells us that he will provide our needs.
The devil tries to convince me some things are really NEEDS and not just WANTS and since God hasn't provided it yet He is not going to.
God says to have faith.
The devil tells me I have lacked faith so often God has given up on me.
God says he will always be with me.
The devil says God Can provide but I am such a screw up why would he want to?
God said He will never forsake me. He loves me with an unconditional Love that I will never understand. No matter how much I love my kids or my husband or my sister or my brother-it will never be the same as the love He has for me. I have never decided to not be there and help my own family even with my limited conditional love for them so there is no way God would do that to me.
Then I stop arguing and beg forgiveness.
So there ya have it. That was my month in a nutshell-at least internally. Now that I have that out of my system I promise to catch up on posting about our month externally-and there is a lot to tell about. Hope someone has actually stuck around with me to read all about it!

No comments:

Site Meter