Friday, June 19, 2009

20 years later I started learning

This past weekend we went to my husband's 20 year class reunion. TWENTY YEARS, YALL!!! When I was in high school, 20 years was like the most farthest away not even comprehendable time period there could ever be. Now I can't believe I can talk to someone and say "You remember back 20 years ago when we....". At graduation I felt like I had MADE IT! It was the greatest accomplishment ever. I knew that later in life more would come- like a family and jobs and such-but I could not imagine anything feeling as big as graduating did. Now I see what a baby I was at that time. How could I have felt sooo grown up yet knew NOTHING? I am not even close to being the same person I was that day I walked across a stage to get my diploma. I am nothing like I thought I wanted to be. My hopes and dreams at that time have not had much to do with who I have become. I know Monty would say the same thing. Our life is not what either of us would have expected it to be 20 years ago.
Monty graduated with about 22 people in his class from a small Oklahoma town so of course he knew everyone in his class-even in the entire school. These were the people he grew up with. The people that shared in most of his childhood experiences. He was very excited to see what everyone was up to. He had a great time listening to everyone's stories and the kids had a blast running around the elementary school that daddy went to. Little did I know that God was planning on using a 20 year class reunion to teach me a few things. When we went to the reunion I was expecting to see a different person in my husband. I thought that getting him around the people he has known most all his life would suddenly bring out the extrovert that I have always dreamed was living inside this quiet unassuming man. Well guess what folks-he is who he is and I love him for that. We are two totally different people and so often I get frustrated because my husband does not see things the way I do. I try so often to make him more like me instead of appreciate the differences we have. That is something I, with the Lord's help, have REALLY been trying to work on for the past few years and I thought I had come pretty far. Going to this reunion showed me that I have not done so great. I still have some crazy expectation that deep down he really is like me and can't get it through my thick skull that different doesn't always mean better. I am still secretly waiting for something to trigger a realization in Monty and witness the emergence of a louder more dominant personality. The Lord has shown me the truth again and I pray that this time I will listen better. I must cherish these qualities in my husband-the fact that he never wants to be in the spotlight which in turn means we will never have to fight for it; that he is content with his life the way it is so I never have to worry about him making unexpected changes that disrupt the family; even though we don't have a whirlwind lifestyle he loves me enough to walk to the store is a snow storm to buy a bag of ice because I hate to drink Dr. Pepper with no ice; his humble spirit ensures our home is not ruled by arrogance and tyranny; knowing that when I have a bad day and the dishes aren't done and you can't walk though he living room and there is no supper cooking doesn't make him upset but instead sympathetic to my trials. If I were ever able to change this man, I would loose the best things about him. God knows what we need even when we don't and he certainly knew when he brought Monty and I together. Thank you Lord for showing me once again what it is you have given me. Thank you for My Husband!

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