Friday, March 5, 2010

Couples retreat

Last weekend Monty and I were able to go on a couples retreat with our church. This is the second year we have been able to go and it is so beneficial. This retreat was started by our preacher before he was our preacher and started with just a handful of couples. Last year there were almost 400 people (200 couples) and this year there were about 750 people (almost 400 couples!). The retreat is held in Branson Missouri and we stayed at the Chateau on the lake. (Because of the number of people this year, several churches had to stay at another hotel)

Our room was BEAUTIFUL! It came complete with a balcony with a view of the lake, bottled water (that cost $4 if you opened it) and...

quite comfortable DOUBLE beds. This is the second year that we have gone to the retreat and the second year that we have gotten a room with double beds. I guess that just encourages closeness but after being used to sleeping in a queen bed at home it is kinda hard to adjust to 2 people in a double bed.

The lobby of the hotel was just gorgeous with several water falls and live birds singing away.
The preaching sessions were awesome and so beneficial! The first session we heard was "the old fashioned flame." It was a little tense at first with a whole room full of fundamental Baptist sitting around listening to a preacher talk about s*x but we were all married and that is a big part of marriage. As a matter of fact, we learned that when you are married your s*xual relationship is you WHOLE relationship. That is not to say that s*x is all there is to your relationship but that part of it does reflect the rest of your relationship. That statement is something that really made me look at myself and my actions/reactions to my husband. The session was all very tasteful, very informative and very needed! (FYI-I don't have a problem with the word s*x but I do not want my blog to come up on a search because someone is searching THAT word so I am not spelling it out for that reason).
We also had a session on "old fashioned purity". Often times we think of staying pure as something that we should do (or should have done or want our children to do) UNTIL marriage. What we learned was the importance of staying pure DURING your marriage. It is just as important to stay pure after marriage by carefully choosing the movies you watch, books you read, music you listen to, websites you look at, etc. The one statement that really hit me during this session was "when you are betrothed to the Lord(which every person that is saved is) and you are flirting with the world you are committing spiritual adultery!" WOW! Really makes ya look a little harder at what parts of the world you may be flirting with. When I hear the commandment "thou shall not commit adultery" I never considered the fact that I could commit adultery against my Lord Jesus!
We also got to attend a session on "the old fashioned money". Most of the things that were discussed were things Monty and I have heard before and agree with but we still have some problems with. Luckily, we were given a handout for budget planning that I think just may work for us. I have seen other examples of budget plans but have never really been able to implement them into our life very easily. This one is really doable-not easy, because planning a budget and sticking to it is never going to be easy but it is one that we both understand and will (with the Lord's help) be able to do.
We also had a session called "the old fashioned home". This was a 2 part session (1/2 on Friday and 1/2 of Saturday) and was really about the man and the women each keeping their verse. The man's verse is Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;" and the wife's verse is Ephesians 5:22 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." If we would each just keep our own verse than our marriages would be so much better. We talked about how God's plan for marriage is not the problem it is the people's execution of that plan that causes the problems. I have often thought that I have to SUBMIT to Monty and that is a REALLY hard thing for me to do. All he has to do is LOVE me and we all know that I am totally lovable so he has the easy part. Upon further study of each scripture we learn that actually both verses leave the same expectation for each spouse...put the other person before yourself. When I submit to Monty, I will think of him and his needs before myself and when he loves me, he will put me and my needs before himself. Sounds pretty simple and pretty impossible and it is impossible without the Lord!
All of the messages that we got to hear about God's plan for our marriage are truly priceless but one other aspect of the retreat that is such a blessing is getting to spend 5 hours on a church bus with other members of our church family. It is so much fun to get to know each other better and to talk and laugh like a bunch of teenagers out on a school trip. Of course since it was revealed on last years retreat that I am uncontrollable-that became a dominant theme of the conversations on the bus, enhanced by the fact that Monty and I were once again sitting in the back of the bus. The fact that 2 days of "couple" talk, and "couple" time and talk of romance and purity has the same effect on a bunch of married people as it would on a bunch of hormonal teenager was proven by one Innocent little conversation overheard from the back of a dark church bus after we had stopped at Wendy's for a burger...
(innocent part)
Me:I forgot that they put mayo on the burgers. Did you get some napkins?
Monty: No, I didn't think about getting any napkins.
Me:WHAT? No napkins! You know I always need napkins. I want to wipe this mayo off.
(overheard part)
Monty:Just lick it.
Me:If I WANTED to lick it I would not need a napkin!
followed by hysterical laughter throughout the bus!! AAAWWWW....good times!


CrisisMaven said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
char said...


Mobenda said...

I'm here! You're in my Favorites and I check for new posts nearly every day. This was a good one! Sterling and I have never been to a couples' retreat. My brother and sister-in-law attend one every year in Branson, too. It really sounds like fun and something that would be very beneficial. Take care!

char said...

I know you are there and I appreciate that. I was just kinda frustrated when I have had to delete more comments than I have got to keep lately. Monty said he saw your brother at the men's advance a few years ago so I am sure they go to the same couples retreat as well. There were SO many people, we would have never found him. Yall should go with us next year!! It is in February!

Anonymous said...


What fun! I am so glad yall were able to go again this year. It was fun hearing about your marriage adventure. Pictures always make it better!
Love Ya! Amy

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